You only do if you want

Realeza é outra coisa, só mesmo depois do casamento...

Ainda bem que não ganho 10000€ por mês

Nunca tinha feito estas contas, também não tenho em casa um quadro branco e o marcador acabou há uns meses, mas realmente este pessoal tá fodido:

- gasolina para o Porsche Cayenne da mulher;
- carteira Gucci para a amante enfiar o chiuaua;
- as férias em Zanzibar;
- charutos Monte Cristo;
- a casa de campo;
- o aparelho hello kitty para os dentes da miuda;

Eu devo ser de outro planeta... ou o gajo, que por acaso pertence à Comissão Política Nacional de Pedro Passos Coelho.

É sempe a somar!

"Venceremos venceremos...venceremos outra vez... o Porto vai ganhar a taça... como em 2003..."



Vai uma guiness?

"Vi Anselmo, era da Noruega"

Bem sei que está um pouco fora de tempo, mas trata-se de uma reflexão muito pertinente.

Futre o jogador

O jogador do Porsche amarelo.

Futre e o licor beirao

Impressionante como num curto espaco de tempo estes cartazes se espalharam por toda a cidade do Porto.
O homem dos charters tem olho para o negocio :P



E... ja agora deixo um sonzito :P



Abracos

Propostas de Passos Coelho para mudar Portugal

Salão de festas

Tamos fod****

Apesar de não estar a acompanhar a visita da troika com a atenção devida, tal como todos os assuntos importantes, mas também que se lixe o FCP é campeão, reparei numa das suas personagens... o careca com cara de mau Ramus Rüffer (nunca tinha utilizado as duas pintinhas - é preciso premir o alt gr).




Se estamos à espera que este gajo nos vá ajudar tamos lixados... a última vez que este gajo ajudou alguém deve ter sido a aprender a nadar com umas barbatanas de betão no Reno.

Sound Matrix

Engenheiros

It's possible to understand Engineers.
Where there's a will, there's a way.

Understanding Engineers #1

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
"Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said,
"Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers #2

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers #3

A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys?
We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in,
"I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said,
"Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,
so we let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said,
"That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them."

The ophthalmologist added, "Good idea. And maybe I could examine
them to see if there's anything I can do for them."

They were silent for a moment.

Then the engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers #4

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers #5

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers #6

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.
Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline adjacent to a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers #7

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers #8

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it
and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm a busy engineer.
I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool!"

Roubado de http://stories-etc.com/engineers.htm

Oh Bordalo, e se fosses pró CARALHO?!?!?!

Quão anormal pode ser um benfiquista?! O céu é o limite.

Heróis de Merda, para o Nobre Povo!

É tudo tão engraçado...

Descubra as diferenças

CAMPEÕES!!!

Então e o Porto é campeão, faz a festa na Luz, e ninguém diz nada?!

Nem sequer vou falar sobre a luz (ou a falta dela) e a activação do sistema de rega, da expulsão do Otamendi, dos amistosos Cardozo, Javi, Coentrão, enfim, todos. Deixo que as imagens falem por si.

Momento Musical Africano

Viva,

Após uma incursão às discotecas de São Tomé deixo uma selecção pessoal das músicas que estavam a bater mais na altura. As duas primeiras para dançar uma bela tarrachinha e as duas últimas para suar com o semba angolano.


(Nelson Freitas - Chuva Pode Da)


(Kino Cabral - Da Tempo)


(Puto Português - Ta sair male)


(DJ Jesus - Homem Casado)

Mortal Kombat!